We have all learned to live with
"voicemail" as a necessary part of modern life. But have you
wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing this: "Thank you
for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:"
Press 1 for Requests
Press 2 for Thanksgiving
Press 3 for Complaints
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries
I'm sorry but all of our angels are busy helping
other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us
and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.
If you would like to speak to:
God, Press.......................1
Jesus, Press.......................2
The Holy Spirit, Press........3
If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm
while you are holding, Press 4.
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to
Heaven, Press 5, enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound
key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House,"
please enter J-O-H-N, followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs,
the age of the earth and Noah's Ark, please wait until you arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed
once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a
religious holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30am.
If you need emergency assiatance when this office
is closed, contact your local pastor.
THANK GOD, HE DOESN'T HAVE VOICEMAIL AND HE LISTENS
WHEN WE PRAY!!!!!!!
ress 1 for Requests 
