Lott is the youngest of my band of first cousins.
He is the youngest son of my Mother's younger brother Harry.
Being the youngest of the cousins in my family, was tough.
Especially when you are young. Lott was treated like the fifth wheel. He was
considered to young to engage in all the activities that his older cousins would
participate in.
So Lott became the Guardian of right and wrong.
He was the pipeline back to the parents. Since he was too young to have mastered the
fine art of prevarication, it was pretty much assumed if Lott said something, it was the
truth.
He bore that truth like a shield into any cousinly battle.
If we were engaged in something that we should not be doing, and saw Lott approaching, we
froze in our tracks. We knew it was an exceedingly short distance between Lott's
lips and our parent's ears.
This particular day, it was my cousin Butch (nie Maurice), who is Lott's older brother
(and for those of you who have been following this family unveiling, Denise's ..the cousin
who bit me ... younger brother), who feel into the Lott zone.
My Uncle told us it was alright to sit around on the front porch that day. It even
was alright to play on the front sidewalk or in the back yard. What was not alright
was playing with the skateboard in the street.
That was the only thing that was on the Forbidden list for that particular afternoon.
It was a short list and it should have been easy to keep. But...Butch
had a brand new skateboard and he wanted to really give it a test and the sidewalk was
just not enough expanse, with the cracks and all, to see what this new baby could do.
So out into the street he went. The Lott radar locked in.
Butch had forgotten a few important things. That when turns had been passed out for milder
skateboard rides on the sidewalk, Lott was excluded. Butch forgot that when we were
playing mubblely peg in the back yard, Lott had not been allowed to play. Butch
forgot that when we were playing hide and seek, Lott was the perpetual seeker and we
didn't hide, we went a block over, where Lott was not allowed to go, to continue our play.
Butch forgot a lot, Lott forgot nothing.
After a smooth cruise around the street, Butch returned to the porch. Lott sat there
stoically. He did not give a hint of being poised on the precipice of power.
His face revealed nothing. But Butch must have had that brother sensor going.
For he knew in his heart of hearts, he was in trouble. That Lott was just
getting warmed up to tell my Uncle Harry about his skateboarding in the street.
So Butch decided to bring the issue to a head.
He confronted Lott, "Are you going to tell Dad about me skateboarding in the
street?""
Still revealing no emotion. Not a twitch, not a smile, not a grimace, Lott responded
with wide-eyed innocence, "Maybe I will and maybe I won't."
That moment remains frozen in time for me.
Since we have grown into adulthood., I get to spend quality time with Lott.
He grew up real nice. He and his wife Sherry, are more like brother and sister to me
than just cousins. Our children often are mistaken for brothers and sister.
And whenever we sit and talk about old times, we can not bypass Lott's famous
proclamation,. When ever he is asked a question, if we are in a family gathering,
someone will answer for him "maybe I will and maybe I won't."
I am glad God did not go to Young Lott School of Decision Making. Lott now is very
decisive now but it is something he had to grow into. God, always has been decisive.
Lott looked back on how he was treated, and then made the decision as to how much mercy he
would extend.
God looks on us with eyes of forgiveness, and even if we have angered Him, he will forgive
us. Even if we have disappointed Him, He will forgive us. Even if we have
sinned against Him, God will forgive us.
He does not sit up in heaven, look down on us struggling to do the right thing, and when
forgiveness time comes, answer, "maybe I will and maybe I won't."
When you come to God for forgiveness, with repentance in your heart, and the acceptance of
his son Jesus Christ as Lord on your lips, God says, yes I will! You are saved.
Butch probably could have bought Lott's mercy by allowing him a simple spin down the
sidewalk on the skateboard. Incidentally, he didn't. Nor did he ride the
skateboard for the next week. His indiscretion did make its way back to my Uncle.
For God's forgiveness, there is no price you can pay. No bribe you can conceive.
No favors you can call in to gain God's forgiveness. It is given you by God
through his grace and mercy. You can not earn it, it is a freely given gift.
And when you ask God for the gift, He does not say, "maybe I will and maybe I
won't," he says, "I will"
God willing, I hope to see my cousin Lott and his family next weekend. I am sure, we
will take a least a moment to relive this moment of family folklore. Sometimes it
even is a competition to see who gets to say the classic punchline first or most often.
But this time, when I hear Lott's childhood proclamation repeated, "maybe I will and
maybe I won't," my mind probably will be wandering a little, thinking about my
Father in Heaven, who when asked for His forgiveness, always says, "I will"
without a maybe.
