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Ballad Of Tony Two Note
By Rev. John Fisher


Tony wanted to sing from the time he was little.

His Mother, Martha, said it all started because she used to sing to him before he was born.  So, she said, the came into this world with a song in his heart.

When Tony was little, he would sing to the top of his little lungs.  It did not sound too great.  But the blatting that erupted from Tony's mouth was relegated to the fact he was still so young and had not  yet discovered his musical ear, although he fully was exercising his musical mouth.

Tony would sing and mimic anything he heard.  Only problem was, he sang it badly.   So badly, it got to the point that people did not want to be around when Tony began to exercise his vocal prowess.  They would scatter to the four corners of the earth, or at least the rooms furthest away from Tony.

It did not take long for Tony's singing "abilities" to become a neighborhood joke.  He ceased to be just Tony.  Everybody now was calling him Tony Two Note.   They said there only were two notes he could hit right.

And the truth was not far from that tease.  Tony had a problem discerning pitch, and could not carry a melody in a bag.  But once he locked on to a note, he could hold it forever and keep it as pure from the time it issued from his mouth to the time it faded into oblivion.  Tony's voice was strong.  His tone was pure. But the fact he could not sense, feel, or even recognize a melody line was his musical pitfall.

That did not stop Tony from singing.  It just stopped him from singing in public.

You often would see  Tony going off to the furthest edges of the town park.  If you got close enough you  could hear him singing.  It hurt to listen.   Misplaced notes.  Melodies that did not resemble anything remotely committed to music. 

Then he would practice his strength.  He would find a pure sweet note, wrap his voice around it, and just hold it for what seemed for ever and ever.  A pure sweet note.   It did not have to move anywhere, so Tony was able to hold on it.

Tony tried out for the school choirs.  And he was rejected.  As soon as he tried to sing along with the music, he either had people rolling in hysterics, or falling off pitch themselves, drawn by the magnetic dissonance of Tony's non-melodic singing.

That did not stop Tony's desire to sing, it just expanded his scope of the places where he could exercise his art.

Tony went to his choir director at church and asked if he could sing in the choir.   Tony's reputation proceeded him. The choir director knew that Tony could not carry a melody, everybody had told him that. But he decided to give Tony a chance anyway.

Mr. Manly, was a veteran director, Tony was not the first person with marginal talent who he had directed. Mr. Manly believed that if a person did not have much musical talent, it was at least another voice to add fullness to the choir.  He encouraged such a singer to try to blend in with the other voices.

Those were the very instructions, Mr. Manly gave Tony.  "Sing like your voice was one with the rest of the choir,"  Mr. Many said to Tony. 

The other choir members shook their heads quietly.  They knew that Tony never would be able to get the melody.   And he didn't.  But he learned to sing low enough, that he was not disruptive.   Indeed, the choir sometimes forgot Tony was there.  His lack of melody was buried into the overall fabric of the choir.

The choirs big concert was just about at hand.

Mr. Manly had practiced them into near perfection.   Near, only because, despite all of the practice, Tony still had problems getting the melodies but he had learned to not stick out.  How to blend in with the choir.  So despite being melody challenged, Tony finally was able to be part of  choir.  He was singing with a group of people, something he always wanted to do.

The concert day arrived.  Everyone was eager for the performance.  One of its features was a brand new piece of music Mr. Manly had written specifically for the concert.  It featured Roger, the strong-throated, tenor soloist in the choir.   It was a piece that required both voice finesse and strength.  The body of the piece had Roger literally gliding over the quickly scaling notes.  The songs climax found Roger rising to the top of his  range for a beautifully piercing note and then holding it,  an impressively long time, before letting it fade into the song's conclusion.  It was a work of art to hear Roger's voice rise and fall through the song before launching into the climatic note.

The crowd loved the concert.  They hung on every note the choir sang.  And they had yet to hear anything yet.  It was time for Mr. Manly's new composition and Roger's tour de force presentation of it.

Roger began the song and gently began picking his way through it.  Climbing her, descending there, feeling the auditorium with the sound of the pure, sweet notes of Mr. Manly's composition.  He now was building to the conclusion. He navigated the low road of the composition and now was ready to carry his voice soaring to its peak.

Roger started that climb but suddenly, before he could hit the high note he hold, his pure notes turned into a pure croak.  Roger backed off the note and again tried to climb up to it...again, the note would not issue from his throat.

Mr. Manly was cheating the best he could.  Fortunately the composition was  new.   Seated behind the piano, he maneuvered the music to make it appear it all was part of the plan for Roger to start and stop his approach to his note.  Mr. Manly brought the music around for a third time, hoping it would be the charm for Roger hitting the note.  He did not think the audience would buy a fourth pass through this passage.

He played the intro, listened anxiously and then, right on time, came the purest high note Roger ever hit...and then he held it.  Sweet, pure, no tremolo, just a pure sustaining note that shook the rafters of the auditorium.  The note just seemed to continue ringing out...the audience rose in appreciation.  The note did not waver as now everyone was on their feet cheering this accomplishment of musical purity and endurance.

And as the spotlight turned to highlight the singer, it fell not on Roger but on Tony.   It landed right on Tony Two Note.  The light illuminated Tony's face. There was a soft smile on it as he carried the note another minute and then let it softly fade into the thunderous appreciative applause of the audience.

Roger was the first to run to Tony as the curtain closed.  He hugged him close, thanking him for saving not only the song but the day.  Mr. Manly was not far behind him.  He spun Tony around like a rag doll.

"Tank you Tony for saving my new song and the concert,"  Mr. Manly said squeezing Tony tightly. "Thank you for letting me sing in the choir,"  Tony replied.

It would be a nice ending to the story to say Tony became a soloist.  But that never happened.  He never did get past his problem with carrying a melody.

But he did remain a member of the choir.  He learned how to blend in with the rest of the choir so it was not really noticeable that he was melody challenged. 

And every now and then, the choir would feature a composition that  had a dramatic ending.  A long  sustained note, that did not waver and seemed to extend into the next day. You could bet Tony Two Note was somewhere around when that happened.

 

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